DO REESE'S SMILE IN HEAVEN?

Yes. Yes they do, according to terrified grave robbers who broke into the Prairie View mortuary yesterday to steal deceased CF Kemi's candy horde. Not content to stop there, they proceeded to the chamber of deceased roommates Allison and Natalie. After prying a fun sized cup of buttery goodness from the cold dead hand of Natalie, one of them reports:

"It-It smiled at us. We unwrapped it, and there it was--with its beady little chocolate eyes just watching us. Watching us..."

The grave robbers have been sent to St. Peter Regional Treatment Facility to rest after their trying encounter.

Assassination counseling, reconnaissance, and intelligence services available.
Contact Geoff Wessendorf. If you can't find me, you don't deserve my services.

Natalie & Allison's Weapon-Making and Letter-Opening Service

We hate you, too! A once-in-a-lifetime chance to acquire once-in-a-deathtime happiness, and you shmucks aren't even trying to get your grubby little paws in on it!
These corpse-like individuals will still gladly turn your raw materials into serial-killing machines, but you'd better ask nicely.
Also, their new and improved letter-opening service takes the "glare" out of "kick your ass"!

Prairie View 124
#6615